regret

i feel sad today.theres a huge hold in my heart.i stand so alone, lonely, the same situation i was 2 years ago. i feel isolated.
wish nuthing shud have happened but then fate plays a good role and someday i want to know my future and act accordingly.
i was blessed with the best person in my life, 'sid'.he had the best qualities that i had never seen in any other guy friends of mine. he slowly became my close friend and later a part of me holding complete rights to my life key.
And tragedy had to play devil between us as there is no happy ending.
they call it ego,attitude but i wud nevr open my true self to sum1 other than the person whom i trust. i only hurt my loved ones coz they hurt me.
And april 14, i shattered sid with my words. it hurt him very bad.and he has taken a decision to maintain distance wit me:(
i think i dunt deserve his friendship coz i am the one to be blamed.
i failed to understand him and i always fail to understand myself.

today, i feel so shattered and lost in the friendship battle the 2nd time in my life.

probably, there would be something more in stores for me but this battle wont heal off soon and i am not ready for any more relation-ships :(

i just wanna be forgiven.